First, let me say that catching a cheater in the act (meaning sex) is almost impossible and something you probably don’t want to put yourself through anyway. In most cases the best you can hope for is to catch them together.
If you are using a real time GPS unit you could simply wait until you are reasonably sure that they are together and then go find him/her. The problem with this tactic is, what if you are wrong? For example your partner says he/she has to work late. You know, thanks to your hidden GPS, that he/she is at a restaurant. You decide to go confront the two of them together and go busting in ready to let him/her know how you feel, but when you get there your partner is there on business and you are the one that ends up getting busted. Believe me he /she will want to know how you new where he was.
A better plan may be to send a friend that you have confided in to check it out. Just make sure that your friend has a good reason for being there. Have a reason already worked out, don’t try to make it up on the fly, he/she may see right through that.
If you are using a GPS logging device and noticed that every Wednesday he/she goes to the same place after work you could use the same tactic with a friend. Have your friend there waiting for them. That way it seems like your partner ran into your friend not the other way around. Again make sure that your friend has a good reason for being there memorized.
PI or no PI
The best way to handle these situations is to have someone that your partner does not know verify that he/she is with someone else. A private investigator would be the best choice, but expensive. A private investigator will typically charge between sixty dollars and one hundred and fifty dollars per hour. The average for a good P.I. is somewhere around eighty dollars an hour. Most will have a minimum number of hours that they charge. For example I charge seventy five dollars an hour with a ten hour minimum paid up front. There are no guarantees with a P.I. . Just because you paid them does not mean that they can deliver any evidence. Sometimes this is the private investigators fault and sometimes it is not. If you hire a P.I. to follow your partner after work every night for a week, for example, you could easily burn fifteen hours or more, but maybe he/she was being good that week and did not see his/her lover. That does not mean your partner is not cheating. It simply means that he/she was not cheating at the times that he/she was being followed.
One way to improve your chances and save you some money would be to use a GPS logger to learn your partner’s habits and figure out when the best opportunities are to catch him/her. For example your partner a bowling league every Thursday night but you know he is not going anywhere near the bowling alley. This is when you would have the Private investigator following, giving the P.I. the best chance for success using the least amount of time. You get the idea. Use your notes and all of the information that you have gathered to figure out the times that your partner would probably be seeing the other person.
Give them “enough rope”
You could also create an opportunity for your partner to see the other person. You could make plans to go out of town on “business” or to visit relatives. When in reality you get a hotel room or stay with a trusted friend. Let him/her know ahead of time so that he/she can make plans. If you are using the right methods you might even know what their plans are.
You could pick a fight with him/her. During this fight try to push the right buttons. Say things that may hurt his or her ego and self esteem. You know your partner the better than most so you will have to figure out what to say. At the end of the fight storm out saying that you are going to stay at your best friend’s house for the night or that you won’t be home until late. The idea here is to give him/her a window of opportunity in which to see his lover and the need to boost his/her ego. A potential problem here may be that your partner’s lover may be married or have a boyfriend and cannot get out on that short of notice.
Tailing the Target
If you don’t want to hire a private investigator you could try to follow your partner yourself. I do not recommend this at all. It takes years of experience to learn how to effectively tail someone. If you do decide to try it yourself do not use your own vehicle. Trust me your partner will be on the lookout for any sign of you. Renting a car may be a good option here. Cars can be rented for as little as twenty dollars a day. If possible get a car with tinted windows and get a car that is very common in your area. In other words, if you live in an area where you see a lot of mid sized sedans on the road don’t rent a bright red Hummer. Your partner will surely notice that he/she is being followed. If you follow your partner more than once rent a different car each time. Also try to get a dark color. Dark colors tend to blend in better.
When following your partner do not get too close. Try to blend into traffic. You should almost never get directly behind them. Always try to be safe. If you get caught at a traffic light don’t run the light. This could get you or someone else hurt or worse. It also increases the chances of being noticed. Hopefully you will be able to catch up when the light turns green.
As I said earlier I do not recommend following your partner yourself. There are so many things that could go wrong. If you are caught you will have a lot of explaining to do. If you are successful you may loose your temper and do something that you will regret later. If you do catch them together it is almost always better not to approach them at that time. Take some pictures of them if possible and confront your partner later. You don’t want to make matters worse by doing something foolish.
I cannot emphasize enough the importance of not resorting to physical violence. You run the possibility of having criminal charges filed against you, an arrest record, possible jail time, as well as a fine, which will only increase your pain. IT ISN’T WORTH IT!!!!
Remember that most people will deny, deny, deny. Make sure that you have all of the evidence that you need before confronting your partner.