I have worked with hundreds of couples over the past few years, and without fail, I’ll get asked if there is a way to tell if their partner will cheat before it happens. Clients ask this question for many reasons. However, most often, it is because of two reasons:
- They had an unfaithful partner in the past and are worried their current partner may cheat.
- Their current partner is mimicking behaviors that a previous unfaithful partner displayed.
As much as it pains me to say this, there is no definitive way to know with 100% accuracy cheating will occur before it happens. Why is it so hard to forecast cheating?
Because people generally don’t intend to cheat. In most couples I have worked with where there was a cheating partner, the cheater did not intend to cheat. Instead, cheating occurred because a series of events and emotions created a window of opportunity – they did not go out looking for an affair.
So with this knowledge, are there indicators early on that they will cheat before it happens? While there is no way to be absolutely sure, signs can indicate a likelihood of future cheating if they haven’t already.
Here are five ways to tell if your partner might cheat on you. And if you suspect they are, what can you do about it?
1. They have cheated before.
We’ve all heard the expression, “once a cheater, always a cheater.” While this is not always the case, if they have cheated in previous relationships, it is more likely to occur again.
Why? There are a few reasons why people cheat. Some of those reasons include the following:
- Their parent(s) were cheaters.
- Low self-esteem.
- Fear of commitment.
If you know your partner has cheated in the past, know that there is a chance it can happen again to you. If they have not disclosed that, it might be worth asking to make sure.
2. They show no interest in being intimate with you.
If your partner lacks interest in being intimate with you, they may be open to cheating. But, of course, they could be dealing with some other issue. Still, with many clients I have worked with, their partner losing interest in intimacy usually meant they were not getting satisfied and eventually didn’t want to be intimate because they were getting that from someone else.
If there is no intimacy in the relationship and your partner is/was very into that, that could be a sign.
3. Your relationship began with cheating.
Did you and your current partner get together due to an affair? Were you the one he was cheating with in his last relationship? If he is willing to cheat with you, he is willing to cheat on you. So, be prepared for that possibility.
4. They are vague about their time away from you.
If your partner spends lots of time away from you but does not give specifics about how, where, and with whom they are spending that time, you may need to worry about the potential of cheating.
Another detail to look for here is how they respond to you by asking detailed questions for clarity. For example, let’s say your husband tells you he is going to hang out with his friends. However, he doesn’t tell you which friends, where at, or for how long.
So you ask him these questions to know more about what he’s doing, and he gets very defensive and reactive for you wanting details. That’s a big giveaway that he may cheat soon if he isn’t already.
5. They get distant.
At the beginning of the relationship, they were attentive. They complimented you constantly. They held on to every word you said. They wanted to spend lots of time with you. Then, slowly, they pulled away a little. They had less to say. They wanted to spend less time with you. They tuned you out and weren’t as attentive as they usually are.
When this starts, it could be because they are focused on someone new in their life. Maybe a new coworker or a mutual friend of a friend, or a new barista at his favorite coffee shop. For whatever reason, he is distracted and less focused on you.
If this happens, he could be contemplating the idea of cheating. Of course, it is not a guarantee that he will, but he could so be prepared. I want to say once again that cheating is not inevitable. Just because the signs are there does not mean they are guaranteed to cheat. People are complex, and they have numerous reasons for their behavior.
These signs are red flags but are not a guarantee they will heat. Keep these signs in mind, and make sure you communicate with your partner if you are worried about cheating. Not speaking up is not doing your relationship any favors. Instead, develop those healthy communication skills, and you are far more likely to end up in a successful relationship full of love and security.
So what should you do if you suspect your partner is cheating?
If you suspect you’re being cheated on, the most important thing to do is remain calm. You’ve got to catch them in the act- and the best way to do that is by using discreet spy equipment such as audio recorders, gps trackers and hidden cameras. Shop covert voice recorders and more here.
This content was originally published here.