The biggest mistake that you could possibly make is to confront your spouse before you have done an investigation. In no way should you let your spouse know that you are suspicious. He/she is already being secretive and hiding the truth from you. If you tip them off it will make it harder to find the truth.
If you ask them straight out they will deny it absolutely, and if you really think about it, they don’t have a choice. If they are not cheating on you, they have to deny it. If they are cheating on you, but they don’t want your relationship to end, they will deny it because it will either kill the relationship or badly damage it – something they don’t want.
If they are cheating on you and they plan on leaving, our experience tells us that they will lie to you until the very last moment for one of two reasons, the person they want to be with is not 110% committed to be with them indefinitely or they feel that they cannot get divorced due to monetary concerns or a religious one.
In short, there is almost no opportunity for the truth to come out on it’s own and if it does, the timing is completely controlled by your unfaithful spouse.
The bottom line is that if he/she knows that you are onto them they will go to even greater lengths to cover their tracks, making it even more difficult for you to find out the truth.